Craig Smith, White Guy

DES MOINES- Craig Smith, the aforementioned white guy that is completely average in every way, likes his Mac computer. He’s reportedly had it for some time and is fairly pleased with the product. “I was a little nervous about purchasing such an edgy product at first, but after walking into a local coffee shop, I realized it was something that many people of my precise demographic already had.”

Craig reportedly hounded associates for tips for several weeks before pulling the trigger on the purchase. The white guy settled on a version with less gigs because he really isn’t into downloading music and enjoys listening to popular bands on pandora. When reached for comment, his former college roommate Bryan Stewart had this to say, “God damn it, Craig sucks.”

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