PROVO, UT- With the recent departure of forward Brandon Davies, the BYU basketball team was hoping that reckless and disgusting pre-marital sex was the worst of their problems. If the recent photos surfacing online are true, they may be terribly wrong.

Logan Magnusson, Iced coffee

In these photos, broken some time between 2:18 and 2:22pm on the Nancy Grace show, it would appear that junior forward Logan Magnusson may have been recently making a little love of his own. To a grande iced coffee.

Along with observing abstinence while at school, students are also expected to avoid caffeinated products like coffee and tea. This incident would likely put the players future in jeopardy.

Early reports indicate that Magnusson was spotted leaving a local starbucks with the coffee  this past Saturday afternoon. Donning a bucket hat and an outfit typically reserved for a 16 year old pop star, he likely thought he would go unnoticed.

Fellow student, Caroline McGroder, reacted to her former friend allegedly hitting rock bottom. “To be honest with you, as I am required to do, I always thought that Logan would break the rules before Brandon.” she said, adjusting her unlogoed flannel shirt, “Logan was the first watch pagan films like Blue Streak and Fievel Goes West. Logan was the first to try french fries. Logan always drank whole milk and was known to dabble in granulated sugars. He treated his body more like a nicely kept ranch than a temple.”

Logan Magnusson, Utah heckraiser

The first reaction by university president Cecil O. Samuelson was mixed, “Well this would be a serious break in the rules, but we will be careful and thorough before making a decision.” he said, adjusting his unlogoed flannel shirt, also adding “I know these photos are authentic, but he looks a lot like Nick Jonas, doesn’t he?”

Logan is on a temporary leave of absence from the team, reportedly “studying” and “having dinner” at this time.

Craig Smith, the completely average white guy, also weighed in, “Well I think the rules are a little strict, I like to have a medium coffee from time to time. But I’m not sure, rules are rules,” he noted with the insight of a cornish game hen, “I’m really not comfortable with you printing this.”

Fuck Craig. Only he could deflate the momentum of this story.

Whatever

Charlie Boston, plain states analyst

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