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Lincoln, NE – Ashamed of their transgressions against young boys across the tri-state area, a duo of convicted pedophiles are hoping to prove to the public that they are no longer “The Monsters of the Midwest,” but merely philanthropic old gentlemen. Released from the Nebraska State Penitentiary only two days ago, Chester Howell and Randy Thornton are eager to give back to the community that they stole the innocence from back in their child-luring heyday of the late 1980’s. During their final year of incarceration, Chester “The Molester” and “Free Handy” Randy pooled their collective talents to develop a way to show their remorse. Their solution? A generous candy giveaway to the state’s children.
Randy and Chester, completely devoid of pedo-urges
“The whole concept is around spreading joy to the kids, to let them know that we are truly, truly sorry,” explained Chester. “And what Read the rest of this entry »
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