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"Recycling is for hippies..."
LONDON – The United Nations Climate Panel recently released their “Un-green” list, a compiled report of those activities and items deemed most damaging to the environment, naming “Babies” the number one threat to ecological homeostasis. Babies, which make up roughly ten percent of the world population, have come under fire in recent months since the release of a U.N.-backed study claiming the environmental impact of a single baby is comparable to “a shi**ing cow sitting in a continuously running ‘Hummer’ powered by coal and styrofoam, playing ”Rockstar“ by Nickelback…times 50.” Read the rest of this entry »
"Soooo....who brought the rolling papers?"
SANTA CRUZ, CA – What began as a peaceful protest at the base of University of California – Santa Cruz early this morning has escalated to a drug-fueled, “hippyfest” that some who live near the school are calling “customary” and “anticipated”. Read the rest of this entry »
Not pictured: Obama's foot, reporter's ass
FDR. Steve Prefontaine. Jesus Christ. What do these gentlemen have in common? They were all gods of their time, you say? That’s just silly. FDR couldn’t even walk. Of course the answer is they all smoked. Read the rest of this entry »
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