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SUBURBAN DES MOINES- Craig Smith, an unbearably average white guy, is reporting higher than normal levels of anxiety in his otherwise unspeakably uninteresting life. These anxieties, according to recent email correspondence from his FUCKING HOTMAIL account, stem from trouble selecting the color scheme of his next collared shirt purchase. Craig was last seen at an American Eagle outlet store off of highway 80 pondering their wide selection of colors. According the store manager Mandy Glitten, Craig is “pretty terrible. I tried to tell him delicately that no one cares either way what shirt he takes. He didn’t understand. He got scared and bought all solid colors. I hate Kevin. I mean Matt. Whatever his name is.”
Maximus Burns (Charlie Boston’s alias), Intern
Craig Smith, white guy
DES MOINES- Craig Smith, a white guy who is completely average in every way, is reportedly having a tough time deciding which local Chinese restaurant to go to for dinner. “Both have their strengths and weaknesses”, Craig Read the rest of this entry »
"Soooo....who brought the rolling papers?"
SANTA CRUZ, CA – What began as a peaceful protest at the base of University of California – Santa Cruz early this morning has escalated to a drug-fueled, “hippyfest” that some who live near the school are calling “customary” and “anticipated”. Read the rest of this entry »
Craig Smith, White Guy
DES MOINES- Craig Smith, the aforementioned white guy that is completely average in every way, likes his Mac computer. He’s reportedly had it for some time and is fairly pleased with the product. “I was a little nervous about purchasing such an edgy product at first, but after walking into a local Read the rest of this entry »
CABO SAN LUCAS- Shawn Kemp, former NBA player and full-time baby’s daddy, has reportedly fathered another illegitimate child. Shawn, who’s children from earlier in life are now on the verge of NBA careers Read the rest of this entry »
Craig Smith, White Guy
DES MOINES- Craig Smith, a white guy that is completely average in every way, has been recently considering the purchase of a Honda Accord. Put off by the higher price of new Read the rest of this entry »
Charlie Boston
Stace of Base
professortumbleweed
Arnold Borneo Whetstone
frankybacon
themidwesthumorist
